From the beginning of January when all the testing began to see what was wrong with me, I have never wanted to know any side effects of testing, chemo or any drug I have had to take. I figure the less I know the better chance I have of not having syptoms. Today I went in for blood work, then had to see the nurse to go over my blood work. Everything looked good as far as I could tell. My white blood cell count was almost to the normal range, which is something my body has struggled with. The nurse did inform me that my hemoglobin was down and that was why I was probably feeling tired. Well to tell you the truth, I haven't felt very tired lately and didn't want to know that I was supposed to be feeling tired. I had a great weekend and enjoyed my time with Tony and watching him do stuff around the house and I was able to plant flowers and paint our mail box. I went in to work today and it was great to have all 4 of our summer interns with us. So for me to be told that I should be feeling tired, when I haven't felt that way, was a surprise to me. My mind starts wondering, have I been tired today or was I tired yesterday. No I don't believe I have had that side effect. I could have easily taken a nap yesterday but never felt the need for one. So back to my point, it is better not to know "how you are suppose to feel" but trust that God blessed me with another day of health and I am so grateful for His many blessings of the day. It feels so good to be back at work, to go to Wal-mart and come home and cook a meal. I read in Romans 14:8 "For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's." I want nothing more than to live my life to it's fullest and to know that the Lord is in control of all things and live to honor Him with my life. He is the one that gives me great rest each night and refreshes me in the mornings and for that I am so grateful. We have a choice everyday to wake up and see the good of the day or to choose "woe is me attitudes". Not sure what tomorrow may bring but I can say;
"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
Not What We Had Hoped
1 week ago