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Jordan & Jenna's blogs

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

"God Continues To Amaze Me"

We've enjoyed spending time with four of our grandchildren all week. They've loved Vacation Bible School! I've been able to work each morning while they have helped at VBS then spend the afternoon with them.

Kaitlyn, Hudson, Kimberly and Carter

I was told I would need shots for three days this week to build back up my white blood cell count. I went in Tuesday after leaving the hospital and again Wednesday. On the way to get another shot today I was talking to my friend Julie Gabardi and made a comment that I would love it if God would surprise the nurse and let my counts be up. She had commented on Tuesday that I would probably need all 3 shots and if it was anywhere close to being border line she would give it to me. She met me today with a big smile after my lab work was done and said I wouldn't be needing shot #3. I immediately told her how great our God is and that His grace is amazing. I cried with the great news but was able to tell her my tears were tears of joy. My white blood cell count went from 2.2 on Tuesday to 8.1 today. The normal range is 3.4-9.8 I looked back over all my previous counts, and this is the highest my WBC has ever been. It wasn't even close to being "border line". We have a plaque in our bedroom that says "Faith is not believing that God can, it is knowing God will." My faith continues to grow because of all God's goodness. I believe if I can praise Him through the storms in my life, how much greater can I praise Him in the blessings He pours out! Psalms 73:28 "But as for me, it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."

Grandma wanted to treat the grand kids to Red Lobster tonight for dinner. And for those of you who know Grandma and why she really loves Red Lobster, the answer to your question is, "No she did not get a Pina Colada." Thank you Grandma for treating us!

Kaitlyn, Jordan, Hudson, Grandma, Kimberly and Carter

We ended our day with going to the Splash Park.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"Home Again"

I was discharged from the hospital today by noon. The IV antibiotics began clearing up the infection. My white blood cell count has gone back down due to the infection and antibiotics. I left the hospital and stopped by Highlands to get a shot to boost my counts. I will be getting shots the next two days. My chemo has been postponed for two weeks to allow my body to heal and to rebuild my blood counts.

I was able to go into work this afternoon and help get some paper work done for camp. I was greeted with a big group hug from our staff and interns. Love knowing I'm needed and loved so much. As of today we have 155 students going to camp. The infection I have has confirmed that I will not be attending camp. I am thankful for Hutch, Maegan, Jordan and our interns and all the hard work they are putting into making camp such a great success for our students.

Tony stayed home this afternoon with Kimberly, Kaitlyn and Carter. I'm proud of our twins for volunteering this week to be crew leaders at our Vacation Bible School.
After dinner tonight GPa set the sprinkler under the trampoline to let the grand kids jump with soap. Great night of entertainment.

Kaitlyn, Carter and Kimberly

Love having these kids with us!!!

We received a phone call tonight from the doctor at the hospital. She stated a late blood culture came back positive for bacteria and that it could have been contaminated but wanted me to monitor my temperature. I am trusting God to watch over my body and thankful He is the Great Physician.

God continues to hear prayers on my behalf and I am so thankful for the strength, grace and health He has given me.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Sunday, June 24, 2012

ER Visit/Hospital

I woke up Saturday morning with a small knot on my forearm that was sore. As the day went on, the area grew bigger and became red. We circled the area to see if it continued to grow. Tony went to pick up 3 of our grandchildren in Little Rock and by the time he got home around 9:40pm the area had became considerably bigger. He made the decision to take me to the ER. I was diagnosed with cellulitis and put on 2 oral antibiotics. We arrived back home at 3:00am. I circled the new inflamed area to make sure nothing got worse. By 8:00pm Sunday evening it was obvious things were worse. We decided to let Jenna take me back to the ER and let Tony and Bryan hang out with the 4 grand kids. The doctor that saw me on the first visit noticed I was back in the ER and made sure I was seen quickly. Blood was drawn and an IV antibiotic was started and I was admitted to Mercy Hospital. 30 minutes after starting my IV antibiotics, my head started itching really bad and my chest became tight. The nurse stopped the IV and gave me a dose of Benadryl. The second IV antibiotic was started around 4am and the doctor believes I will be in the hospital until Tuesday, depending on how my body reacts to the antibiotic. I feel perfectly fine and I'm thankful for my health.

This is my head after my allergic reaction. Notice how red it is!

We had a nice visit with my parents and they didn't know I was admitted to the hospital but will know by the time they get home and read my blog. We've waited for awhile to bring our grand kids here and it makes me sad I'm not getting to be a good GMa while they are with us. I know God is sovereign and in control and will see us all through this week. He knows our coming and our going and I'm grateful to have a God to put my complete trust in.

I had a surprise visit from Hudson, Bryan and Jenna this morning. Hudson got in bed with me and had fun pushing buttons. He always can make a average day turn into a great one.

Bryan and Hudson watching Bubble Guppies!
Hudson and Gma
Hudson loved playing with the hospital bed buttons!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Thursday, June 21, 2012

"He Continues To Carry Me"

Well God showed He's more powerful than Satan once again this week. I survived my three shots with no side effects. How great is our God! Thank you does not truly express my gratitude for those that continue to pray for me. I am so thankful He continues to carry me through each new day and hears the prayers on my behalf. His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. Psalms 66:19-20 "But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!"

My parents were able to finally come for a visit. This is the third time they have tried to travel to Bentonville from Abilene, Texas. Each time their health has not worked out for them to be here. They left Abilene yesterday and stayed the night at my brother's house in Denison, Texas. I received a phone call early this morning from my brother letting me know they were taking my mom to the ER. Her blood pressure was extremely high. I had texted a few friends asking them to pray. My mom had left one of her medications at home that helps bring her b/p down so instead of going to the ER my brother and dad went to Walgreens to get her prescription refilled. By the time they got back to my brother's her pressure had already started coming down with no medication. They decided to go ahead and travel to our house and arrived this afternoon. I know they are both tired and worn out but we are all so grateful to be able to have this time together. Life is precious and the days we have together I do not want to take for granted. I will continue to praise the Lord for all the goodness in my life. Psalms 71:5-6 "For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Upon you I have leaned from before my birth; you are he who took me from my mother's womb. My praise is continually of you."

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

"Praising the Lord"

Today was a great day. I went in this morning to have another shot and the nurse immediately asked me if my body was sore from the shot yesterday. I was already praising the Lord for His goodness to me and the peace that came over me last night from prayer and His word. I slept great and was able to tell her absolutely no. I decided to tell her that I'm not a person that has ever wanted to know side effects especially from the very beginning when all the testing began to see what was wrong with me. I told her that I felt like Satan used her words yesterday to scare me and that I have a greater power living inside me and that my hope and strength come from the Lord. I let her know that I did not want to know anymore side effects in the future and that each new day I am given is a blessing from the Lord and He will continue to be the One that gives me my strength. She seemed to understand and said she was thankful I was doing so well. Psalms 56:9b-11 "This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Thank you to all those that prayed for me last night and today, God heard your prayers.

As you can see from the picture below, my hat rack is overloaded. I finally went out and purchased a new rack and was able to divide up the hats onto two separate walls. Sad thing is, the winter hats are not even on the rack.

How does one accumulate so many hats!

Love the cleaner look!

I'm sure there will be more hats to add!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Monday, June 18, 2012

"Who's In Control"

I began my day with going in for routine lab work. I met with a nurse afterwards to go over my test results. Today I found out my numbers were low enough to have to take shots. I received one shot today and will go back the next two days. Apparently the nurse didn't get the memo that I don't like to hear about side affects and proceeded to tell me all the negatives that come along with the shots. Satan loves to knock us down when we least expect it. I struggled throughout the day with fear of what "might" happen to me. It's kind of strange now that I'm writing this blog to think I let taking shots scare me after what my body has been through these past four months. I know lab work is very important for the doctors and nurses to treat, but I also know Who's in control of everything that my body deals with. My faith, hope and strength will continue to be placed in the Lord. I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made and God is still sovereign over everything in my life. I was told to stay away from Wal-mart and eating out these next few days. Thankfully, I've never have really enjoyed going to Wal-mart, so that won't be an issue for me. I will continue to listen to my body and let it rest if I am tired and I will also continue to remind myself that "greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world." I was looking for a verse to share and opened the pages to my bible and this is the exact spot it opened to. This verse was highlighted from Susan Goss. God is so in control of everything in our lives even the small details of Him reminding us of how much He is control. Susan calls me everyday and tonight she called and prayed with me and together we prayed about rebuking lies from Satan about fear. In the margin of my bible beside this verse she wrote; "Janet, you are a great example of fear not! Love you, Susan Goss" Isaiah 43:1b-3a "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." If you ever doubt Who's in control of your life, remember Jesus is the answer and He is the One in Control.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Sunday, June 17, 2012

"Happy Father's Day"

Today I have three men in my life I want to acknowledge and thank the Lord for. First there is my "Daddy". He became my "dad" when I was 8 years old. He had almost raised three daughters when he married my mom. Not sure what he was thinking to start over with three more kids, ages 8yrs, 9yrs and 12yrs, but I am so thankful he did. He never made me feel like a "step-daughter" but always made me feel like he had always been my dad. He showed all of us kids how much he loved us and our mom. I never saw my parents fight but always saw them loving on each other. At times I would get embarrassed when my friends were over because my dad would always be loving on my mom. He treated each of my friends like they were his too. He's always told me I was his favorite. For his 80th birthday we gave him a book with different memories each kid and grand-kid had written about him, and almost all of us listed that he had told each one they were his favorite. Thank you Daddy for all the love you have shown to me. For allowing me to be my own person and for loving me no matter what decisions I made in my life. You are the one that taught me how to be loved and to love back. I am thankful for the love you gave to Mother and I never doubted once if you were the right one for her and for us kids. You raised us all well. Thank you for the love you have shown to Bryan and Jordan too. They love their Grandad.

Me and my "Daddy"

Bryan and Grandad "chewing the fat"

Tony is the next man I want to wish a "Happy Father's Day". I know he isn't my dad but I am so grateful that he has given to my kids what I had growing up, a "dad". He's always been the tough, disciplinary one of the two of us, but my kids never had to doubt when he said something, he meant it. My kids are who they are today because of having a "Tony" in their life. Bryan and Jordan were 8yrs and 5yrs when we married and I believe they have seen the same love I saw as a kid with my parents. Thank you Tony for showing my kids your love for me and for them and for being such a great "dad" to them.

Jordan, Tony and Bryan

I am thankful now my son is a dad. Bryan has done a great job of showing Hudson so much love and being a great dad to him. Happy Father's Day Bryan. You are a wonderful "daddy" to Hudson. He is so blessed to have you as a dad.

Bryan and Hudson

I am the person I am today because of these three men in my life. Psalms 13:6 "I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me."

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Thursday, June 14, 2012

"The Joys of Being a G-Ma"

Well my week wasn't so slow or boring after all. Hudson came to our house Tuesday night and stayed with us until tonight, Thursday, when we took him home. Jenna worked both days. Since I didn't have a lot going on with work, I decided to keep him with me all day Wednesday and today. He slept in both days and took great naps. I met Rachel and her boys at the splash park downtown and enjoyed our time together. Susan Byrum came and joined us and bought everyone a Popsicle from the guy that rides around on a bicycle with a cart behind him. He makes homemade popsicles and as you can see in the picture below, Hudson loved his. We have the best small town atmosphere here in Bentonville. I feel at times its like something you would see in a movie. I've loved having Hudson again and being able to pick him up and enjoy time with him. He always makes our days happy.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"Earth Angels"

I'm not going to even attempt to correct the pictures on my blog tonight. For some reason the formatting has changed and Jenna and I can't figure out why.

I was blessed to begin my day on a walk at Crystal Bridges with Maureen Mangrum. She took me on a new trail and the picture frame below will show you part of the beauty we saw.

Thank you Maureen for going on a walk with me.

I came home to a gift by my front door from Lyn and Kristin Helsley. God's reminders of His love for me.

I was able to have lunch with my friend Laurie Smith. Today has been 6 weeks since her surgery. I'm sure we were a sight to see eating out. She is on crutches, I'm a bald headed lady carrying her pillow and purse. You would have thought someone would have had sympathy for us and paid for our meal.:) I told her we needed to come up with a name for the two of us.

I receive a weekly card from a lady at my brother's church in Denison, Texas and wanted to share something that she put inside the card.

Earth Angels

I feel the presence of angels as I walk among my friends, for each one serves a purpose and on them I do depend. They console and encourage me when troubles seem to unfold. Their strength helps to carry me when I need to be strong and bold.

You might not see their wings yet they're always near to share my happiness and my sorrows, and I know how much they care. I call them my earth angels that are sent from God above, to share my earthly journey and to fill me with their love.

I continue to thank God for my friends and for those that don't even know me and I do consider each one my "earth angels". Each card, phone call, text, visit, prayer have not gone unnoticed, especially by the One who sees it all.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Monday, June 11, 2012

"6 Weeks Post-Op"

Today marks 6 weeks since I had my surgery. I have had 2 rounds of chemo during this time of waiting on my body to heal. With that being said, I have missed my first youth mission trip in 11 years. Our group left last night for LA. I must admit I was sad not being a part of this trip. I didn't do a very good job of hiding my emotions with Jordan, Hutch and Maegan. I would wake up during the night and even today thinking about what they are doing at that very moment. I received a text from Hutch at 7:50am (5:50am their time) that he was on the way to the pharmacy to get some drugs for one of the interns that was sick throwing up. Taking care of the students is what I usually am in charge of. Jordan said they didn't get into bed until 4:00am our time (2:00am there). It's already been confirmed to me, that it was wise that Tony didn't let me go on this trip. I am so thankful to have a husband that protects me and knows what is best for me, even though I can be very stubborn and do not want to be submissive at times. I've said it several times, but I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband that loves me so much. He knew I was sad about not going, so he took today off to be with me even though his plate is full at work. May I never take for granted such a blessing in my life. I was also given a gift at the airport last night with a sweet note from the youth staff and I get to go treat myself to a massage while they are all gone working.

It's turned out to be a good day. Tony started working on our laundry room doing some renovation. He's my "Tim the tool man" guy and I am very proud of him. I've heard from several on the LA trip and I know they are worn out and exhausted. The intern that was sick, Garrett, ended up going to the hospital. I am praying that God gives each of them the strength to keep going and let their lights shine for Him. Satan always tries to throw distractions on these trips so my prayer is that God will be glorified and people in the California area will see something different in our youth group. I Corinthians 16:13-14 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." These were the verses I read this morning and I'm praying them over the LA team.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Friday, June 8, 2012

"A Good Friday"

Disclaimer: I know I am on chemo, but it's not my fault that the format of this post is all messed up. I'll contact my blog technician (aka Jenna) tomorrow and see what is going on.

So thankful for the day the Lord blessed me with. One of our favorite little guys came over this morning for a few hours to hang out while Bryan and Jenna had to run an errand. He helped me water the flowers in the backyard then we came in for lunch. He ended up staying for nap time so I took a nap too. His nap ended up lasting for over 3 1/2 hours and I finally had to wake him up.

Hudson from the beach last week.

He loves his bed at GPa & GMa's house.

My sprigs of hair were beginning to fall out so I asked Jordan to shave my head. We both talked about how we never thought we would be okay with the fact that she was having to shave her mom's head. I am thankful to have a daughter that is not ashamed of me.

Thank you Jordan for loving me so much!

We went to dinner with Bryan, Jenna, Hudson and Jordan at On the Border. Hudson loves chips and hot sauce.

GPa, Hudson & Bryan

Jordan, Jenna and Me

After dinner, Tony and I decided to go to Orchard's Park to listen to the live music and enjoy the nice evening. Ran into some friends from church and enjoyed our time together visiting the Helsley's, Painter's and Osborne's.

Thankful to feel good today and enjoy the blessings of family and friends.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Thursday, June 7, 2012

"A Brighter Spirit Today"

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me today.  God heard your prayers and answered a specific prayer I prayed first thing this morning.  Three weeks ago I missed an opportunity to speak to someone that God placed in my path. I regretted not speaking to her and have continued to pray.  I specifically asked God to put her in my path again and He did.  I was sitting with Tony waiting to go in for chemo and she walked out of the elevator and came and sat by me.  She doesn't know me but I knew who she was.  We had a chance to visit for a few minutes and I told her I had been praying for her and had sent her a card.  She thanked me.  We didn't have a lot of time to speak.  Today wasn't a chemo day for her, she was in for a shot.  God gave me a new perspective on life today.  I was down about having chemo for another year; she will be on it for the rest of her life.  My blood count has been where it needs to be before each treatment.  She was in for a shot that she has to take three times a week in between chemo because her white blood cells aren't rebuilding the way they should. She explained how painful the shots are to her back and legs.  I am so thankful for my health and the grace that has been given to me on this journey.  I know any day things could change. As she was leaving, I reminded her that I would continue to keep her in my prayers.  

Thank you Tony for being with me even when you have a million other things to do.

Today I got to meet "home girl" (the lady in the back ground that was sleeping in a picture that was taken of me and Jordan at my last chemo).  She wasn't asleep today, so I went over to meet her and explained that she was on my blog and told her we gave her a new name.   She is a great lady and has been through a lot.  Her situation makes me realize how blessed I am again.  She has tongue cancer and can't eat, drink and it hurts for her to talk.  The simple things in life I take for granted everyday.

 Me and Sandy aka "Home Girl"

My blood was drawn on Tuesday and I got my results back on my CA125.  My numbers this week are 172.2.  The number means I have a ways to go with chemo every 21 days.  Thankful to say today I'm at peace with everything.

I was able to speak to 3 different people today and all of them will be on chemo for the rest of their lives. Listening and sharing today helped me to walk away from Highlands with a brighter spirit. Without a doubt God continues to show me a lot of grace and renews my hope I have in Him. I was able to share that Hope and trust that I spoke the words He wanted me to share. Psalms 71:14 "But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more."

The Chemo procedure today was non-eventful and I was through by 1:00.  I was thankful to be able to go in to work afterwards then come home and cook and then attend Kash & Judd's t-ball game. They made it to the finals!

Way to go Kash & Judd!!!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"God Knows...."

I've thought about blogging several times tonight and wasn't sure if I would do it or not. I selfishly wanted to ask for prayer for my round #5 of chemo tomorrow. If I am serious about honoring the Lord in my circumstances then why wouldn't I ask for prayer. My prayer is that all will go well tomorrow and that the side effects will stay away but also that I might be able to be a witness to those the Lord puts in my path. I cannot go on my own strength and fight this battle and let my light shine for Him, I need God's full armor around me. Ephesians 6:13-20 "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. to that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." Only God knows what tomorrow holds and I am trusting Him completely to direct my steps and to watch over my life.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


I received a very special email yesterday from one of my best friends since 4th grade, Judy Lynn. My heart was so blessed by her words of encouragement. I struggled about posting it onto my blog most of the day yesterday and last night. I never want to come across as prideful or believe anything good is in me apart from my Savior. I said from the beginning this blog was for me to look back and remember all God has shown and taught me on this journey. I went to the doctor today and had lab work and was told I am ready for round #5 of Chemo this Thursday. I was also told that I still have another year of monthly chemo treatments at the same dose I am getting right now. Needless to say my heart was a little sad and I had a pity party. I'm not sure why I was taken off guard from the words of the doctor, knowing Who really is control of everything. I went back and re-read the words from Judy and decided it was okay to post what she sent me. I realize everyday is a new day and that I can choose to feel sorry for myself or choose to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust Him for every step that is ahead of me. Thank you Judy for taking the time to write these words to me and for your great encouragement. I love you!!!

Janet Leigh,
I've been reading your blog, again. The latest entry made me think of some things I want to share with you. As your very old, as in many years I've known you, friend I especially know of the blessings and joys that have followed you through your days. However, I believe life is about choices. I sat here and thought about your blessings and the choices that put you in the right path for them. I know you already know these things, but let’s go over some of them again.....ready?

I believe because you chose to be an obedient daughter, most of the time, today you are blessed with children that love and respect you. Your choice to respect your parents did not go unnoticed by our Creator. We may have done some stupid things, but the Good Book says to "honor your father and mother" and this you did. There is a reason for this commandment. The honor you've shown will be handed down through the generations.

I believe you made a choice to marry Charles. The road was a little rocky and sometimes questionable whether he was the "one" for you. Yes, he was. Because your path with him led you to the wonderful, caring husband you have today. Your choice to stay by his side and care for him in sickness did not go unnoticed by our Creator. He is bestowing that same care for you today through Tony.

I believe you made a choice to be a mother. Again, God has blessed you with loving, good hearted, children. Because of your choice to be a mom God blessed you with many, many memories of their laughter, tears, good days and bad. Treasures that can never be taken away from you. You will also have many, many memories of laughter and hugs from grandchildren. Your life is full because of the choice you made.

I believe you made a choice many years ago to keep your body a temple and not damage it with earthly things. For this choice you have been blessed with a healthy body that is seeing you through a difficult time right now. You're not suffering from lung issues from smoking, liver issues from drinking, mind issues from drug abuse. Your body was physically ready to fight the fight it faces today. Because of your choices, you have been blessed.

I believe you made a choice and were destined to work in the ministry in some form or fashion. Because of your choice you have seen a number, a big number, of lives changed forever for the King. You have had numerous opportunities to teach, mentor, and love on kids of all shapes and sizes. Many of whom never knew love before they met you. Because of your choice the Kingdom has been increased!

I believe you made a choice a long time ago to keep friendships alive, through the good and bad. Because of this choice today you have so many friends loving on you, especially when you need it most. This choice again, did not go unnoticed by our Creator. He has given you a host of people that care about you, pray for you, minister to you, and bless you on a daily basis.

We all make choices. Some of yours, like everyone else, have not brought the greatest of outcomes. Some of your choices I'm sure have hurts and wounds attached to them. We can't live this life without a battle scar or two. But because God Almighty was/is first in many of your life choices, you are at the top of the blessing list! I believe on judgment day you will be one of the few to hear those sought after words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

Love you!

Judy Lynne

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Sunday, June 3, 2012

"Hair Loss Round #2"

I had a dream last night that I had hair again, but I went to pull on it and a lot fell out. I woke up this morning with regular stubble's of gray and dark hair. While taking a shower the dark stubbles began to fall out. It's funny how the gray hair doesn't want to turn loose. I say God is allowing me to keep my "wisdom" by keeping the gray hair on my head.

Our pastor, Bro. Phillip spoke on Proverbs 3:5-6 this morning. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." It was another reminder to me, that this journey is not about me but it is about allowing God to use me to bring glory to Him. I am trying to trust God with all my heart daily, and I know there are days I fall short of that. I may not understand all He has in store for me, but I do know that I am trusting Him. He is the One that directs my path and I am really thankful that I don't have to worry about what tomorrow holds. He already knows how my day will go and what is in store for me, so why worry about tomorrow.

Funny story, while I was sitting here blogging, Jordan and David saw the title of my blog and thought it was funny. Jordan decided to try and see how easy my hair would come out and wow, the hair is coming out again. It doesn't even hurt to pull it out. We convinced David to give it a try. I think we made him feel a little awkward. How many guys can say, "Hey I pulled my girlfriend's mom's hair out." This means chemo is working again and I am another step closer to complete healing!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Saturday, June 2, 2012

"4 Months Later"

Four months ago today I went in for a regular gall bladder surgery and my life was greatly changed. I still have my gall bladder and I'm so thankful for how God has orchestrated every step of my life and has been with me this whole time. February 2nd, 2012 seems like forever ago. At times I feel like this chapter of my life has been going on for a long time and wonder will it ever end. There are times it would be easy to have a pity party. There are days I feel like I'm stuck because I haven't been able to travel and go on a vacation with my husband or family. That's when I realize once again this journey is not about me. I have so much to be grateful for. I have a Savior that continues to show me so much grace and strength daily. I've had so many tell me about the sufferings of their friends or loved ones that have been diagnosed with cancer and its difficult to then share about how well everything has gone for me. We never know from day to day what lies ahead for us. I think if I would have known the sufferings that were in store for my life from the beginning of when I was old enough to understand, I probably would have said "no way can I go through those trials, please give me another story to be a part of." We can always find others that are going through difficulties a lot harder than ourselves and wonder how do they make it? All I can say about my own life is that "grace" has been there the whole time. There are days I feel like the most blessed person in the world and I don't feel worthy to say those words. We have a blended family all our kids and grandchildren (that are old enough) are serving the Lord and seeking to honor Him with their lives. How could I ask for anything more? If God didn't give me anything else, He's already given me more than I deserve. I want my kids and grandchildren to know that the God I serve is far bigger than any of our problems, trials, disappointments and sufferings that we could ever face. He's real and alive just as much today as when He created the earth. Some may wonder how I know that, and I can say that in my life He's shown me many miracles already and His creation is all around us. I'm thankful He is bigger than my mind can comprehend. I sit on my screened in porch a lot and listen to the birds singing and wonder does their singing praise our Creator? Does my life praise our Creator? If others see me that don't know me, does my life reflect our Creator? I think I fall short of letting others know Who I belong to and allow pride to get in the way a lot. Everyday is a new journey and I pray that I can show others great love and encouragement since I've been given so much. "To much that has been given, much is required. " Thank you Jesus for this beautiful day I've been blessed with.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."