"MD Anderson Bound"

I had decided that today was the day I really wanted to hear from MD Anderson.  I got on their website and found a place to request an appointment and decided it wouldn't hurt to fill out the information (just in case my paper work didn't make it to them).  I was able to put in my name, address, phone number and was looking for the box to check for my diagnosis, when my phone rang with a number from Houston, Texas.  I was so excited to hear that the lady on the other end was from MD Anderson.  She asked if it was a good time for her to call and I told her it couldn't be a more perfect time.  I posted on my blog yesterday how I feel God is telling me "He's got this" and He reminded me of that in a big way with me trying to take over this morning to push everything through more quickly.  I am so thankful to say my appointment is next Tuesday, May 21st.  We are so excited for this opportunity that God has given us and are trusting Him for all the details.  I must remind myself when I become inpatient, that He really does have everything under control and His timing is always perfect.  

I had both chemo drugs today for treatment.  My friend LaDonna went with me.  She has a lot on her plate and has 4 kids, but wanted to take time out of her busy schedule to spend with me.  Thank you Ladonna for being a blessing to me today.   Everything went very smoothly and so thankful that I have friends that want to go and spend time with me.  God continues to bless me immeasurably more than I could ever imagine. 

Me &LaDonna

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Making A Difference"

My youth pastor and his wife from my high school days came to Bentonville today on their way to Springfield and had lunch with me.  Kevin and Pam came into my life my sophomore year of high school &  they are still serving at the same church I grew up in. Kevin is now serving as the Pastor & they have been at Trinity Baptist for 34 years.  There are times in your life when you can go back and have markers of when God moved and impacted your life and used others to help in your journey.  Kevin and Pam both made a difference in my life and are still part of it today.  My parents still attend this same church and many times when I can't be there for my parents, the Kennedy's are there to serve their needs.   I remember Pam taught me how to pray and not be afraid to speak to God out loud in front of other people.  I can still remember it like it was yesterday and I will always be grateful to her for that moment in my life.  We have many great memories together.  My relationship with them has helped me realize that you can impact other's lives and make a difference no matter what age you are.  I think about the young people God has placed in my life over the past years and pray that I can make a difference the way Pam and Kevin made for me.

Pam, Me & Kevin. Thank you for blessing me today!!!!

God continues to show me that He is in control, and as Hudson would say "Hudson's got it", but instead it is God telling me "He's got this".  We are waiting on our phone call from MD Anderson and praying we will have an appointment to go there by next week.  God provided the resources in a big way today for us to go and not have to worry about the finances.  This journey has been more than I could have ever expected with blessings upon blessings from the Lord.  God has used so many people to show us how much He truly loves us and I don't think a day has gone by that He hasn't shown me His great love.  It would be my fault if I missed His blessings because they are truly there every morning and day.  Great is His faithfulness!!

I will be going to Highlands tomorrow for chemo and I'm believing and trusting that God will watch over me, but most importantly, use me to help encourage others the way He continues to encourage me.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"A Blessed Mother's Day"

I am thankful for Mother's day, for being a mom and my mom still being alive. Motherhood is something I couldn't wait to experience growing up.  I always thought the Lord would come back before I would be a mom.  I am thankful He has allowed me these last 27 years of life to see my children grow up and become the young adults they are today.  It was a blessing to be able to attend church today and see all the little babies being dedicated to the Lord.  No one can prepare you for how fast time goes by raising your children until it really happens.  I believe that is why grandparent hood is so special, because you appreciate the time and how fast it is fleeting and try to enjoy every moment with grandchildren. 

Jenna's parents invited our family over for lunch today.  Chuck, her dad, always does an amazing job of boiling crab legs, shrimp, potatoes and corn.  My appetite was so good today, that I ate more than I usually do and enjoyed every minute of it. 

After lunch we all went out on the lake in the Kerby's pontoon boat.  We couldn't have asked for a more peaceful relaxing day.  It was like God gave us the whole lake to ourselves and we all enjoyed time together.  What a blessing having the family together on such a special day.  Thank you Chuck and Mary for always making us feel so welcome and for the amazing meal that comes along with it.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"God's Confirmation"

Who would have thought a year and a half ago, that I would be excited to say that I was going to MD Anderson?  I don't know if excited is the correct word, but I do have a complete peace about going and the opportunity that will be before me.  I called  my surgeon and oncologist today to see about getting a referral and wanted a peace about the direction of going to Tulsa or Houston.  By noon today, the oncologist nurse called me to let me know the referral was being sent and that my doctor would be calling me later in the day.  Around 5:00pm I received her phone call and she was on board with sending me to MD Anderson without any hesitation.  She believes this is a positive move for me.  I was told that MD Anderson should contact me within the next week.  I truly feel this is confirmation from the Lord in Him directing my path.  Everything moved so quickly today, just from a phone call made this morning.  Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."  Thank you to all that prayed over this decision and the encouragement that my family has received about this next chapter. 

Tony and I were blessed to drive to Bartlesville, OK today to see our family.  Chris (Tony's son) and family were there for a wedding.  They live in Houston and we wouldn't have missed an opportunity to spend time with them being so close.  We were able to eat lunch with them and hang out while the kids swam.  It is amazing how fast time goes by.  When Tony and I married, Chris was only 14 years of age and now he has his own family and is the pastor of an amazing church in Houston.  We will be blessed to spend more time with them while at MD Anderson and thankful for God's timing and provisions. 

Chris, Kacee, Addison, Cadence & Jaxon

Cadence, Jaxon & Addison

Cadence & Addison

Thank you Pate family for blessing us today.  I am so thankful God allowed me to feel so good to make the drive and hang out with our amazing family.  Proverbs 17:6a "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged" 

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Second Opinion"

It has been a great week and I have felt good, even after having chemo two days ago.  I have carried on with life as "normal" as possible.  I had forgotten that I was tested on Tuesday for my CA 125 (cancer markers) and had not heard from the doctor about the results.  I called this morning and had a peace that no matter the outcome of the number, I would be okay.  My numbers are up again, 395.8 from 392 a few weeks ago.  I didn't go into panic mode, I just thanked God immediately that He was in control.  I sent a text to Tony, Bryan, Jenna and Jordan to let them know the results. Here is what I said to them "CA 125 is up more but I'm trusting God and thankful for feeling so good.  My eyes will remain on Jesus!!!  His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness!!!!" Jordan responded back with this verse; Romans 4:20-21 "No distrust made him (them) waver concerning the promise of God, but he (they) grew strong in their faith as he (they) gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised."  She added; "May this be said of our family."  Tony soon after sent me a link to a Youtube video so I opened it up and figured he had sent a Christian song or something inspirational.  (Tony is great about finding a song for any word you could imagine) What's funny is that I put my cell phone on speaker so I could hear the song and there was an advertisement about Monster's Inc going to Disney World & Land and they would be open all night starting Memorial Day weekend.  I was so confused why he would send me that link until I realized that it was a commercial ad that I could skip.  I hit the skip button and below is the link he had sent me;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41cEmcaYnV0

It is Dean Martin singing "Houston".  This was Tony's way of telling me, we are going to get a second opinion whether it be in Houston or elsewhere.  Our family has a peace that God will lead us in the right direction.  We are looking into MD Anderson in Houston and Cancer Treatment Center in Tulsa.  I would welcome any input from those that have been to either place.  I am going to talk to my doctors next week about a referral and see what direction they would recommend.  We keep saying "one more month" before we go elsewhere, and now it has been at least four months since we originally said those words. 

It is a blessing not to be in a panic mode or to have any fear in my situation.  I know no matter what happens in my life, I win in the end, knowing where I will spend eternity.  I don't have to hope I get into Heaven but I have a calm assurance that I placed my life and faith in Jesus and I have the faith that He died for me, forgave my sins and I am a follower after Him.  Philippians 4:4-9 "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.  The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

Only God and God alone can give me the peace and calm I have in my life.  I will continue to keep my eyes on Him and I am looking forward to the direction He will lead our family in this next chapter of our lives.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Transformations"

I have felt so blessed this past week and weekend.  I have never appreciated food and drinking fluids so much.  My appetite has been great and I can swallow so much easier.  I was feeling so good over the weekend that I started a couple of painting furniture projects and finished them.  After my home-makeover,  I was excited to re-do a few of my pieces.  I now have a new appreciation for those that do this for a living.  I don't think they sell their furniture for a high enough value for the time and effort it takes to transform the pieces.  My DIL, Jenna, thought it was therapeutic when she got to the staining portion.  I have to admit, I never found the therapeutic portion in my projects.  I was so happy and thankful for the transformation, but I enjoy it better when someone else does it for me, aka, Maegan.

Below are my before and after pictures:

"Before"

"After"

"Before"

"After"

"Before"

"After"

I forgot to take a picture of the before of this piece, but it's my favorite

 

 

 

I had chemo today and I was thankful that when I stepped on the scales, I had gained a few pounds.  I was blessed to have my friend Theresa with me today and also Jonathan and Amanda Waters joined us for their lunch hour.  Jonathan's mom passed away almost two weeks ago and I know it had to be hard to be back in the place he had spent so much time with his mom.  She was diagnosed with cancer in September of 2012 and she fought hard with so much horrific pain.  We are thankful she isn't hurting anymore but I know the family and friends have a huge hole in their hearts. 

Amanda, Me &Jonathan (thank you for being a blessing to me today)

Me & Theresa (my chemo prayer partner and friend)

Highlands seemed to have so many patients today, more than we normally see.  We saw several that seemed to be in a lot of pain and not doing well.  I met one lady today that was diagnosed in 2008 with Ovarian Cancer and is still on the journey of fighting this disease.  I met another lady today that was diagnosed in September 2012 with Uterine cancer and she is praying today was her last treatment.  I also was able to see Robyn Cole's mom today and she should be at the end of her treatments soon.  I am thankful to know I am on God's journey and no matter if it's a few months or whatever time He allows, He is in control of it all and not me. Psalms 68:19 "Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation."  He is my hope and salvation and I will trust Him!!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"My Eyes Remain On Jesus"

I had a dear friend call me the other day after reading my blog, with the concern I had about my cancer markers going up.  God always puts people in our paths at the right time when we need them, whether we choose to recognize it is Him or do not even consider where the encouragement comes from.  She reminded me of the story of Peter walking on the water and he was doing fine until he took his eyes off Jesus, then he began to sink.  How many times have I taken my eyes off Jesus and started sinking?  Recently there have been 3 people that I have been praying for that have passed away.  My human side feels some panic and wonder what is God's timing for me?  I want nothing more than to hang on to this life and enjoy more time with family and friends.  I wonder what it would be like to talk to those 3 that recently have gone to Heaven what they would say to me?  This is where my faith and my eyes must remain on Jesus and His perfect plan for me.  I don't want to be a "sinking" Christian, I want to be able to keep my eyes on the One that already knew the number of my days here on this earth before I was ever created.   Psalms 39:4-5 "O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!  Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you."   I pray my life here on earth counts for His glory.  Everyday He chooses to bless me with, is one more day than I deserve.  I know without a doubt when my time comes to an end and I'm in Heaven with my Savior, nothing this world has to offer can compare to eternal glory with Him.  Thank you Susan for your words of encouragement and the reminder of where our eyes should always be.   

Since Thursday night, I've had some pain in my lower leg and was concerned it might be a blood clot.  I called Highlands today and I knew they would want me to go in for an ultrasound.  Only a few people knew there was an issue going on.  I had a dear friend text me today to see if she could take me to my appointment.  It ended up being two dear friends, Shonda and Lyn both taking me.  When we arrived at Highlands, while sitting in the car, they prayed over me. 

Shonda, Me & Lyn

I am so thankful to say there were no blood clot found in my leg.  I'm not sure what is causing the pain but I can rest knowing that my eyes will remain on Jesus and He will continue to take care of me.  Thank you Lyn and Shonda for hanging out with me this afternoon and for your prayers and friendship. 

I am not scheduled for chemo this week.  My doctor is trying to keep me on schedule and this is an off week for me.  So thankful to have an appetite and to be feeling good.  I continue to be blessed by so much encouragement and I can say:

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."