I am so thankful to have been feeling so good since Friday through today. I almost feel like a normal person but not sure if I know what normal really is. I received a phone call this afternoon from my doctor about my CA 125 (cancer markers). I was so excited to hear from her because in my heart I really felt like the numbers would have continued to go down since I was feeling so much better. The news she gave me really took me by surprise and caught me off guard. My numbers have gone up higher than they have ever been. I went from 239 to 392. I tried to pretend like I was okay, but inside my heart melted with disappointment. The doctor wasn't concerned with the increase. She was more happy that I look so much better and have been feeling good. I sent Jenna a text with my numbers and she read that inflammation and infection can have a significant impact on your cancer numbers. With my recent sickness that put me in the hospital and having to miss a recent chemo treatment could explain why my numbers are up. Tony and I had said if my numbers continue to go up, we would "jump ship" and head elsewhere (MD Anderson in Houston). My spirit and heart tells me to stay here and continue to wait upon the Lord. Tony took off work early to come by my work and check on me. He took me home for a few minutes so I could regroup then I headed back to work. On the way back up to the office the song "Lord Our God" came on the radio. I didn't want to listen to it because I knew I would get emotional again, but I listened anyway. When I got back to the youth group, the band was practicing for worship and guess what song they were singing? "Lord Our God". This song has become my anthem since I went to Passion 2013 in Atlanta in January.
He is the Lord my God and He is forever faithful. I know without a doubt, He will finish what He began and even through the desert, He is my provision. In the silence and in the waiting, I still know that He is good. All His plans are for His glory! I won't move without Him, He is the light of all that I need. He is the Lord my God!!!
"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."
I'm still here! Barely!
2 weeks ago