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Friday, December 13, 2013

"Critical"

I went in this morning for an updated platelet count and found out that it had dropped to 7,000, which anything less than 10,000 is critical. To put it in perspective, Rhett (my 10 month old grandson) had his blood drawn today and his platelets were normal at 515,000.

I am now sitting in the hospital getting a transfusion of platelets and blood. This will be my last trip to the hospital. Tomorrow we are meeting with hospice.

We met with the funeral home yesterday to begin making arrangements and we are meeting with the cemetery on Monday.

This all may seem morbid to others, but it feels like God is wrapping up an early Christmas/Birthday present and pouring a lot of grace in there because it doesn't feel like it's happening to me. Although my body seems to be shutting down, I have felt great all day and The Lord has allowed to me feel well enough to visit with friends and family.

So while all medical tests point to me being "critical", The Lord has given me grace to feel completely and surprisingly stable today. 


There is a song with the lyrics: "You're all I want, You're all I ever needed."
I told some friends a few weeks ago that I didn't feel like those words were true for me because I still had so much I wanted to see and do. I wanted to be able to see my grand kids grow up. But I can honestly say now that these lyrics are true for me. Jesus is truly all I want and need. I know my family will be okay and that they'll take care of each other. 

"This is the day that The Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."





47 comments:

  1. Janet, you are such an amazing inspiration to me and so many others and in so many ways. It is truly from the Lord. I am probably saying the same thing that many others have said, but you make such a difference in many lives and your love for Jesus shines through so much. Thank you for always shining your light, and reminding others to shine their light too. Love you and your family so much. Praying for you and praying for your family!!
    Love, Russell and Meredith Price

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  2. You and your family will be in my prayers. It's such a blessing that you've felt well today!

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  3. Love you all so very, very much..... Aunt Kim

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  4. Dear Janet, I am so blessed that God used you to teach me about the importance of serving our widows and shut-ins. I have been so blessed to serve in this area for over six years now. I had prayed for God to show me where I can serve in the church and when you asked for someone to visit Mrs. Ethel Smith, I knew you were the vessel God used to answer that prayer. You are a true servant of Christ and I am grateful to you. I love the Visitation Ministry. Thank you for leading me to it. It has blessed my boys and my husband as well. With sincere appreciation, Berkli.

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  5. Janet. Your stories have impacted my life in many ways and have left me so inspired. I am so blessed that I got to spend 6 years of my youth learning from you via 412, camps and mission trips. Those really were some of the best years of my life and would not have been the same without you. I am so grateful for that. Thank you for reminding me what's important in life. Love you and your family and I am praying that God continues to bring comfort and peace. I hope one day I can touch half as many lives that you have touched. I always have and always will continue to look up to you.
    Rylea

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  6. I have prayed for you for so long. I came over many months ago from Kelly's blog and the way that you live out your faith is such an inspiration. Your strength and grace are amazing.
    I am praying for you and your family.

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  7. Thank you for being an amazing example. Of being a servant of Christ, a wonderful G-Ma, Mum and Wife. I feel amazingly privileged to be able to witness your journey and your passion as you pass from this life to the next. God Bless you Janet. And God Bless all who love you and will miss you.

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  8. You are one strong woman. I am so glad that God has given you peace.

    I heard about your blog thru Kelly's Korner. She did a post on you yesterday that was so sweet. I then came over to your blog last night and read your post. I tried my best not to cry but then the tears started flowing.

    I feel like I know you. My heart hurts for you and your family. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and your family during this time and I prayed for you last night. I don't really know what to say....other than....let God keep using you. I can tell you are an amazing Christian woman and I am so thankful you know Him. Keep your chin up. There are better days coming. I pray that something good will come out of all this...maybe someone that reads your blog will come to know God. How great would that be?! :)'

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  9. Dear Janet,
    I sit here in tears reading your words this morning. I am truly amazed by your strength. I want to thank you for sharing your story. I want to thank you for pointing me to Jesus. I found your blog when my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and your words have been such a comfort in my life. I had to say thank you. Thank you for this blog. Thank you for your story.

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  10. There are simply words to say to convey to you what you have meant to me as you have walked this journey. Sometimes we just do not understand what God is up to but we know HE has us in the palm of HIS hands and my prayers are that he will wrap you and your sweet family in his loving arms and give you all the peace that only HE can give. You are loved!

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  11. What an amazing legacy you leave you behind. Thank you for sharing your journey, as you truly have been an inspiration. I know how much you will be missed by your family and my heart breaks for them. I know you can rest assured they will continue to be covered in prayers and that you will be together again one day. I know when you see His glorious face, He will say "well done good and faithful servant". Thank you for sharing your journey, there have been many days you've helped put my momentary troubles in perspective. Praying for continued peace and comfort. Thank you for being a blessing Janet.

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  12. Amazing Grace. Praying for you and your sweet family. My father in law is at Duke with throat/lung cancer, and his platelets were 6,000 yesterday as well. His Grace is sufficient.

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  13. May God continue to fill you will peace Janet. As you know, I am a pastor. I sometimes tell stories like yours to my congregation. I tell them that it is really not a good idea to wait until you are dying to begin drawing near to God. The people who die with grace are the ones who live with grace. You have lived your live knowing that you belong to God, and you are transitioning from this world to the next, putting your trust in your God. It will still be hard for those around you to say good-bye. But what a blessing you are giving to your family as you walk through this experience and model to us all what it means to put our trust in God. Live well, my friend.

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  14. I've followed your blog from the beginning it seems. Your unwavering faith has been so inspiring. May the Lord bless you and keep you and your family. May He hold you up by His strength and give you continued peace. He began a good work in you and will be faithful to complete it. Thank you for allowing a stranger like me to be encouraged through your earthly struggles.

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  15. Janet I feel so blessed to have known you even for only a small amount of time. You are such an incredible woman and an inspiration to all. I am so glad you have such peace today. .. All my love and prayers for you and the rest of your family! Thank you for what you taught me. God is all we need. Love you.

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  16. Janet, words cannot express what I feel. You Have shared your journey bravely, boldly and honestly. You are true witness to the love of Jesus Christ. To those in the body of Christ, you are an incredible example. To those outside the body of Christ...you are Hope.
    Like I said there are no words...so may you be held in the arms of love of your friends, your INCREDIBLE family and the everlasting love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We love you.

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  17. I found your blog several months ago through Kelly, and that is not a blog I typically read so it was purely by accident that I found yours. You have made a difference in many lives. You give hope to others in so many ways--those facing their own death and to families of loved ones who have a terminal illness. You truly show that we can have hope because of Christ and that death is not the end but the beginning. God bless you and your family.

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  18. We are praying for you and your family Janet. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey of faith and tears. You are amazing!

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  19. Janet & family,
    I've been following your story for awhile. We have close family friend who is along a similar path. Your influence helped me encourage my friend. Sent her a morning sunrise picture and used today is the day The Lord has made and rejoice in it. You continue to influence.

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  20. It just doesn't seem possible, does it? But of course, with God all things are possible. Keeping you all in my prayers. You'll soon be kneeling at the feet of Jesus! That's so amazing!

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  21. Oh Janet,
    I don't know how to put into words the emotions I feel when reading this today. I can tell you my heart is aching, truly aching with hurt, but then there is this peace for you that is tucked in there, folded like a piece of paper in a thousand creases, and written down on the piece of paper is "God is good always"… no one can understand this time in a person's life… you are in an exclusive group where members have come to find peace in their last days with knowing Jesus. Your family has also slowly been initiated into a group thats mission is one of accepting and understanding a loved ones choice of bravery. I'm part of that latter group and in our sweet Chrissy's last days I remember as I sat next to her bed a family friend came and crawled into bed with her and whispered in her ear as she held her hand close to her own heart, "I realized last night that I should not be shedding tears of sadness for you, but of happiness. You are going to see Jesus, and how wonderful that moment is going to be for you"… I hang on to that as I hope you will too. Feel comforted in that this is your story and its pages have been written long ago, and little did you know your journey would touch so many near and far.

    "I have made you. I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you"- Isaiah 46:4

    -Colby

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  22. I love you Janet Pate! I am so glad to know you and to have witnessed all of the wonderful things your love and commitment to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has accomplished and how many hundreds of lives you have touch. It looks like you are going HOME to Lord and he will no doubt say to you "Well done my good and faithful servant!" My love and prayers to you and all of yours...my how your family has grown! xo Kitty Karr

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  23. Today our town said 'good-bye' to a 15 year old girl, the youngest ever to be diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. It is so hard not to question, but as a Christian, we can be confident that God's plans, although we may not understand them here, and the best plans. Sarah lost the battle, but won the victory. If she could say one thing to her friends, it would be 'be there'. You have shared your faith with us, and one day Janet, I will 'be there'. Eternity is so much longer than our days as a tourist here on earth. I am praying for new mercies for you each day you are here as a tourist.

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  24. Revelation 12:11 They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.
    How gracefully you exemplify this scripture, even now. How wonderful is our God to gift you such peace. I am praying in full belief that His peace will continue for you and yours. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  25. I love you!
    I will continue to pray for your lovely family.
    In Christ,
    Janice

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  26. Janice- my heart is heavy for your family but rejoice in the peace covering you. What a testament! Sending love and prayers for a safe journey home!

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  27. Janet,

    My mother in law fought the same battle with ovarian cancer for 5 years. You are so brave and an inspiration to many. I am praying for peace and comfort for your family in the coming times.

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  28. Isaiah 43:1 'Fear not, I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine'. These are the first words I read after reading your post. May God be with you!!!

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  30. Janet,
    Thank you for sharing your journey. The faith is inspiring and a lesson for all of us! God Bless you...Chris

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  31. We have never met this side of Heaven but I am truly going to miss you.
    I will miss checking in on you and praying for you. I will continue to pray for you and your family as your journey continues. I look forward to finding you in Glory when the Lord calls me home.

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  32. I have spent my weekend reading your blog. It is awe inspiring. You have set the standard high my dear, with your hope, faith, grace, compassion and on and on. I will miss your being here, Prayers for your journey's end, or maybe its the beginning, and for your sweet family.

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  33. I just commented on Kelly's blog, but I wanted you to know that this scripture was shared at church this morning, and I thought of you. "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:20-21) You have graciously shared your courage and your faith with us as we have come here to read updates of your journey. I am so glad (but not surprised) that you are feeling God's presence in a mighty way during this difficult time. Many prayers for you and your family. Again, thank you for sharing of yourself.

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  34. We are praying for you and all of your family! You remind me so much of my mother and how she has responded to having cancer with such strong faith and courage. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! You are such an inspiration to all of us. Blessings to you and yours!

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  35. I feel happy and sad for you. There is no better place to be then in the presence of our loving and mighty God

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  36. I have never met you but came to your blog from Kelly's. I can't even tell you how much you have inspired me and encouraged me to continue this journey I am on to truly KNOW our Savior. The peace you're feeling I know is from the Holy Spirit and that is a beautiful thing. I haven't met you this side of Heaven either but can't wait to meet you in the presence of our Maker one day. Thank you for sharing your story and His story! Praying you feel completely loved and His continued peace.

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  37. Dear Janet, you have made such an impact on me. Your faith, grace and strength will encourage me for the rest of my life. I continue to pray for you and your beautiful family. May peace be with you all. Sincerely, Sharon

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  38. Dear Janet, Your life has forever changed me. Your grace and faith and love for Christ will be with me for the rest of my life. I would read your updates and see Jesus. What an amazing gift you have given your family. I will continue to pray for you and your precious family.
    God Bless you. Edie

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  39. Praying so hard for you and your family! Your faith has increased mine! Even though we've never met, I feel as though I do know you :) You are such a strong Godly woman, and I look up to you greatly. I know that those around you are blessed to know you!

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  40. Janet.. Over the weekend I was telling my family about your journey... and the love and faith you have in the Lord... You are a amazing lady.. I pray that you and your family will have peace at this time in your journey. Allisyn

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  41. Janet. You don't know me, but I feel as though I know you. I found your blog several months back through Kelly's blog. I want you and your family to know what your testimony, witness, and love for Jesus has done for people like me. Through tears I have read your last 2 posts and prayed that our God be merciful to your and your family. Please know though that your words have changed me in regards to faith and trust in Jesus. I will never be the same after "meeting" you. In His Love ~ Katherine Botsford

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  42. Janet, I love you my sweet sister in Christ. You have blessed my heart at times when you didn't know how much I needed to hear the exact words God gave you to say in a moment, a testimony or a prayer.. I missed this post on Friday. I'm just reading it today. I am heartbroken. You are a contradiction - gentleness wrapped in unbelievable strength of spirit and heart. A woman after God's Own Heart in every sense of that phrase. You are the woman who inspires others to want to love Him more and know Him deeper. Praying for God to bless you and your family with good moments, good memories in the making, no word of love left unspoken (of course I know that this is already true) I pray for your husband and your children and your precious grandbabies and the many friends, like Teresa and Joni and Julie who love you beyond....God knit you together well and good and though we don't understand or like this part of His plan...I know, KNOW that there are many who will testify in Heaven that their lives were changed, improved, and made sweeter and richer by know and loving you. Love you. - Renee'

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  43. Praying for you and your family, Janet. I check your blog often for updates and I hope today finds you well and rested. I hope all is well and that you will find peace in this season and hope in the Lord for your comfort.

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  44. I found about you and your beautiful spirit through Kelly Stamps blog. I will make sure to read more of your posts but in just the two I have read I am simply overwhelmed and humbled by your faith in God. You have a peace that truly passes all understanding, on this earth at least. You are an amazing woman of God. I will be praying for you and yours.

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  45. Dearest Janet:
    Though we have never met, I feel like you are one of my truly special friends. You have touched my life and left God's thumbprints all over me. You leave behind a wonderful legacy reminding me how much God loves me and how all the Glory in all I do should be for God. You have been such a blessing to me and my family. I will continue to pray for you and your sweet family.

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