It's has been an emotional roller coaster for our family this week. We were told yesterday, by my dad's lung doctor, that there wasn't much hope and we needed as a family to get together and decide for my dad, what he would want. We all know he would not want to be put on life support. The lung doctor said he would have died 2 days ago if it hadn't been for the life support. We are getting another response from his family doctor and he is telling us that my dad is improving each day. I go up to see him 5 times a day and have to say, he doesn't look good at all and each day he looks closer to death, but at the same time he is responding better and more peaceful and not in pain. They have dropped his ventilator from 100% to 60 % and his oxygen levels are maintaining good. I have cherished several visits with just the two of us and have had such sweet times with him. The tears are falling off my face onto his, but I want my dad to know how much he is loved and how much I cherish the man he is. He became my dad at the age of 8 and has always treated me and my brothers like his very own. He has adored my mom and has shown all of us kids what true love is by the respect he has had for our mom. He cannot open his eyes all the way but he has them open as much as he can and looks at us now. He can squeeze our hand and he communicates through his eyes by squinting. At the beginning of the week he kept trying to talk and now he just lays there and uses his eys to talk for him and can shake his head yes or no. I thought he was asleep earlier today and was talking with his pastor's wife, Pam, about my mom and her trying to pay bills. He has everything set up on the computer to automatically draft but she didn't understand how to do it, so she wrote checks and mailed them to the places she thought might be coming due. I told Pam they would have credits to several places in the month of February and my dad's eyes opened up right away and he had a big frown on his face and started shaking his head no. He knows my mom and he is very picky about how he takes care of everything and is afraid she might mess things up. That proves to me that my dad is alert and can comprehend and he is still fighting to live. I am thankful we have a God we can trust over every area of our lives and that He is the One that has all our days ordanined for us and not man. I know my dad could leave this earth today but I also know a God that still is in the miracle business and can allow a miracle to take place in my dad's life.
I received a phone call very early this morning that my cousin Rhonda, daughter and grandson were killed in a house fire. Her daughter was only 31 and the grandson was only 6. They lived only 1/4 of mile down the street and my cousin had to witness the tragedy. I can't or even want to comprehend the sorrow Rhonda and her family are facing right now. Rhonda's mom, my mom's sister, died only 4 months ago. Our family is so grieved by this horrible tragedy. We will probably never know why such things happen here on this earth. I know so many times life is sad and can be so tragic and scary but I think that is why God said Matthew 6:24-34 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life......, And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" We may not even see tomorrow and all we can do is pray that we make our "todays" count for Him and His glory.
There is no way this week would be possible for me to have such peace in the midst of the storms without a Father that is carrying me and my family. I am so grateful for the prayers on the behalf of our family and I will continue to keep my eyes on Him and my hope and peace will continue to come from Him. What Satan intends for evil, God intends for good and I choose to say:
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel,"Janet" will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper, the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore." Psalms 121
"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Not What We Had Hoped
6 days ago