I sit here tonight with mixed emotions. It's like the cartoon we've all seen where there is a little devil on one shoulder filling your head with lies and the other shoulder sits the angel telling you everything will be okay. I haven't discussed with anyone except for Tony some pain I've been having in my chest. It's hard to describe. It's in my left upper chest and the only time it hurts is when I bend over, cough or try and sleep on my right side. It feels like an electrical shock going through my body and is very uncomfortable. It was worse over the weekend so I called my doctor today. I also have a swollen, tender lymph node on my neck. I already had a doctor's appointment and chemo scheduled for tomorrow morning. My oncologist had me go in today to have a CT scan of my neck, chest, abdomen and pelvis. I will know the results before noon tomorrow. One phone call or one day can change your life in minutes. I have no idea what the results will be tomorrow. My prayer is that the doctor would be amazed and see a miracle in my body and the cancer is gone completely or at least decreasing. Our youth group leaves for mission trip in less than two weeks and I would really love to be able to go. Six Flags is on the schedule for the end of the trip and roller coasters are such a thrill to me. It would make me and Jordan sad if I can't go because we love hanging out together and she would be there without me riding the rides. I will listen to my doctor and do as I'm told. I know tomorrow's news could go in different directions. No matter the outcome, I will chose to praise and worship my Savior. He continues to remind me that He is on His throne and that He has ALL things worked out for my good and for His glory. He's already all I need.
I went to a wedding reception at our church Saturday night for a couple
that had a destination wedding, then I went to a different wedding for another
friend's son afterwards. I had several people at both places telling me
they pray for me everyday. I even met a man
that didn't even know me tell me he had been praying for me. Sunday
after church I had a friend tell me her 3rd grade daughter came to our
house the 2nd time people came over to pray over us. She said her daughter
prays for me every night before she goes to bed.
How can I doubt God's sovereignty and grace when so many continue to
pray for me.
I met a lady today that was at Highlands with her 24 year old son. He's
the same age as Jordan my daughter. He had a double lung transplant
several years ago and has now been diagnosed with lung cancer and they
also found a spot on his liver. He was there
for a CT and PET scan. God always puts people in our paths that need
prayer and shows me how blessed my life really is. Through this journey
I feel like the most blessed wife, mom. GMa, daughter and sister. God
has richly blessed me with an amazing family.
"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."