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Friday, October 5, 2012

"My God's Not Dead"

My day began with lab work, a shot, consultation, a bottle of Barium, more lab work, then a CT scan of my neck and abdomen.  Tony and I felt like we were playing musical chairs.  Thankfully everything was in one building and it was easy getting from place to place.  I found out my white blood counts are low again, so I had to get a Neupogen shot to help rebuild them and to fight against infections.  I will travel to Fayetteville in the morning to get another one.  We met with a nurse practitioner to discuss Genetics testing.   Hereditary breast and ovarian cancer syndrome is an inherited condition that causes an increased risk for ovarian cancer and early onset breast cancer (often before age 50).  The blood test that was taken and sent off today will either come back negative or positive.  It takes 2 weeks to get the results.  If the test were to come back positive, further consultation with my doctor will be done to determine if future testing for myself and possibly my children and my siblings should be pursued.   If it does come back positive, I have a greater risk of having breast cancer in the future.  I have a perfect peace about all the testing done today and realize my life is not my own and I am trusting God to give us wisdom.  I am thankful that I did not take any anxiety medication for my CT scan.  This morning in my quiet time I read Psalms 86:10 "For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God."  I turned on my iPad to listen to music while getting ready and the first song that came on were these lyrics; "my God's not dead He's surely alive and He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion".   I told the technician that I was very claustrophobic and considered taking an anxiety pill but I had people praying for me and was going to trust God to see me through.  I must confess that I did take my shoes and socks off and roll up my sweat pants and have her to remove the blanket off of me before we could begin.   I closed my eyes and began singing the song "my God's not dead" over and over and quoted Psalms 139:13-14 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made".  Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope".  Before I knew it, the technician came back in and said she was all done.  All I could say is "thank you Jesus" because I knew He was the One that saw me through the scan without any fear and heard the prayers of many on my behalf.  The technician did tell me that she was nervous before she began the testing, not knowing if I would make it through without her having to stop.

Jordan and I were able to get several wedding things marked off our list this afternoon and I will end by saying;

"This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."


  1. I am so glad that you were able to make it through your scan without anxiety or having to take meds. The last time I had a CT scan, I felt such anxiety at the thought of going in, but the Lord brought so much peace through the prayers of family and friends. I woke up yesterday morning thinking about you and said a prayer that you would be able to get through your morning and enjoy an afternoon of wedding fun! My mom and I had such a sweet time planning my wedding almost 10 years ago and I hope it's the same for you and Jordan!

  2. Hi sweet friend--Not sure if I ever told you, but when I first heard that song was right before your first chemo and it always brings you to mind...I feel like when the cares of this world weigh us down, I sometimes forget that there is El Shaddai, God Almighty, right there beside us (hallelujah!) fighting those battles for us. And He is truly "roaring like a Lion!" Satan would have us focused on the battle alone, but as Corrie ten Boom says, "Jesus is Victor!" It is already done :)

  3. What a trooper you are! I have had a CT scan once and I was quite apprehensive but just detached myself for the time being and went on a journey in my head and it worked. I did just fine but next time I'm going to think of a great song, like God Is Not Dead, to play over in my head. What a great idea! Hoping you get the best of results!

  4. It is always a joy to read your posts. Our God is with us every second.