"The Desires of My Heart"

We had a ladies event tonight at church called "Sweet Retreat".  This was our second one to have this year.  You know you are getting older, when the "younger" ladies are the ones that are in charge of the entire event and you can sit back and enjoy everything.   It doesn't seem that long ago, when it was my age group planning events like this.  The first "Sweet Retreat" was back in February.  I had just shaved my hair the night before the event and I remember showing up and everyone seeing me without hair for the first time.  It was a great night of fellowship and worship and I think I cried through most of the worship.  They were not tears of sadness but tears of knowing I had nothing to fear and that God was in control.  Tonight was another worshipful night and more tears shed.  We had ladies going and praying over ladies that were in need.  How blessed to be a part of a church that ministers to others and I'm not sure how people make it through trials without the love of other believers.  More tears were shed again tonight, but once again, tears of knowing Who is control of everything in my life.

Tomorrow morning at 10am Tony and I will be meeting with a nurse practitioner to talk to us about "Genetics testing".   Not sure what all this entails, but that is why we are having the meeting to get more information.  I will then have lab work at 11:30 and then I will be having a CT scan of my neck and abdomen.  I have not had a CT since my original diagnosis.  We will not know any results until next Tuesday when I meet with the doctor.   I am not a bit worried about the results of any testing. Once again, I know Who is in control and will trust my Savior for the outcome.  I must admit, I am not excited about having the scan.  My claustrophobia is something I don't do well with.  My first CT scan was back in February and I was given a Xanax and had no issues going in and out of the "donut".   I had a scan back a few months ago on my neck and didn't take any medication because I thought it went so smoothly the first time.  What I didn't realize, is how much anxiety medication can take away the stress of feeling closed in.  I think tomorrow I will go ahead and take half of a pill.  I would take the whole thing but we have wedding planning to do in the afternoon and I don't want Jordan having to carry me around or picking me up off the floor.

Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."  My desire is to be completely healed from cancer and to live a long life and see our children and grandchildren continue to grow and love Jesus with all of their heart, mind, soul and strength.  I want to enjoy a long healthy life with all of them and my husband.  I am trusting Jesus for my life and thankful to know I do not have to worry or fret, my life is in His hands.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."