The doctor confirmed that my cancer has progressed. The places that were seen on the scans in September on my liver and my lungs have increased in size. There is also a place on my back that has grown and that has been the cause of my pain this last week. Since the disease has progressed, I can no longer be on the clinical trial that I was on. There is a new clinical that I might start in a few weeks but we are still working out the details. I also have fluid around one of my lungs which has been causing the shortness of breath and today I had the procedure done to drain it. The doctor basically told us that because of the progression of the cancer, it was terminal at this point and we would only be able to manage symptoms.
It is hard to explain the peace I have with this news. I felt like God took me out of my body today and was explaining everything about someone else life. I'm not in denial because it is very real to me. Having Jesus in my life is what gives me hope in this journey. I wouldn't want to live without Hope in Him.
The timing of everything has been so evident to me of God being in control. I wasn't even suppose to have a CT scan until this next Monday but it was moved up to yesterday, then was able to see the doctor to today. We didn't think it would be possible to get the fluids drained today because we didn't get the results until noon. They were able to fit me in at Northwest Hospital. I was very nervous about the procedure due to the fact of having fluids drained off my abdomen several months ago was very painful to me. When they took me back to the procedure room I prayed and asked Jesus to help me get out of the boat in the midst of the storm and keep my eyes on Him. He showed me so much grace and there was no pain involved. They drained almost 2 liters of fluid from my left lung. No wonder I had shortness of breath. My lungs now have to re adapt and expand with taking deep breaths and that feeling is a little uncomfortable.
My family and I truly appreciate all the love, prayers and support during this journey. So many have asked what they can do for us and all I can say is pray for a miracle. We all shared emotions together today and I am so thankful we all have peace, even though it is harder on my family and friends, I know no matter what I have victory in the end.
|Tony, Bryan and David|
|Me, Jenna and Jordan|
"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."