"6 Weeks Post-Op"

Today marks 6 weeks since I had my surgery. I have had 2 rounds of chemo during this time of waiting on my body to heal. With that being said, I have missed my first youth mission trip in 11 years. Our group left last night for LA. I must admit I was sad not being a part of this trip. I didn't do a very good job of hiding my emotions with Jordan, Hutch and Maegan. I would wake up during the night and even today thinking about what they are doing at that very moment. I received a text from Hutch at 7:50am (5:50am their time) that he was on the way to the pharmacy to get some drugs for one of the interns that was sick throwing up. Taking care of the students is what I usually am in charge of. Jordan said they didn't get into bed until 4:00am our time (2:00am there). It's already been confirmed to me, that it was wise that Tony didn't let me go on this trip. I am so thankful to have a husband that protects me and knows what is best for me, even though I can be very stubborn and do not want to be submissive at times. I've said it several times, but I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband that loves me so much. He knew I was sad about not going, so he took today off to be with me even though his plate is full at work. May I never take for granted such a blessing in my life. I was also given a gift at the airport last night with a sweet note from the youth staff and I get to go treat myself to a massage while they are all gone working.

It's turned out to be a good day. Tony started working on our laundry room doing some renovation. He's my "Tim the tool man" guy and I am very proud of him. I've heard from several on the LA trip and I know they are worn out and exhausted. The intern that was sick, Garrett, ended up going to the hospital. I am praying that God gives each of them the strength to keep going and let their lights shine for Him. Satan always tries to throw distractions on these trips so my prayer is that God will be glorified and people in the California area will see something different in our youth group. I Corinthians 16:13-14 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." These were the verses I read this morning and I'm praying them over the LA team.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"A Good Friday"

Disclaimer: I know I am on chemo, but it's not my fault that the format of this post is all messed up. I'll contact my blog technician (aka Jenna) tomorrow and see what is going on.

So thankful for the day the Lord blessed me with. One of our favorite little guys came over this morning for a few hours to hang out while Bryan and Jenna had to run an errand. He helped me water the flowers in the backyard then we came in for lunch. He ended up staying for nap time so I took a nap too. His nap ended up lasting for over 3 1/2 hours and I finally had to wake him up.


















Hudson from the beach last week.


















He loves his bed at GPa & GMa's house.

My sprigs of hair were beginning to fall out so I asked Jordan to shave my head. We both talked about how we never thought we would be okay with the fact that she was having to shave her mom's head. I am thankful to have a daughter that is not ashamed of me.














Thank you Jordan for loving me so much!

We went to dinner with Bryan, Jenna, Hudson and Jordan at On the Border. Hudson loves chips and hot sauce.













GPa, Hudson & Bryan

















Jordan, Jenna and Me


After dinner, Tony and I decided to go to Orchard's Park to listen to the live music and enjoy the nice evening. Ran into some friends from church and enjoyed our time together visiting the Helsley's, Painter's and Osborne's.




















Thankful to feel good today and enjoy the blessings of family and friends.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"A Brighter Spirit Today"

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me today.  God heard your prayers and answered a specific prayer I prayed first thing this morning.  Three weeks ago I missed an opportunity to speak to someone that God placed in my path. I regretted not speaking to her and have continued to pray.  I specifically asked God to put her in my path again and He did.  I was sitting with Tony waiting to go in for chemo and she walked out of the elevator and came and sat by me.  She doesn't know me but I knew who she was.  We had a chance to visit for a few minutes and I told her I had been praying for her and had sent her a card.  She thanked me.  We didn't have a lot of time to speak.  Today wasn't a chemo day for her, she was in for a shot.  God gave me a new perspective on life today.  I was down about having chemo for another year; she will be on it for the rest of her life.  My blood count has been where it needs to be before each treatment.  She was in for a shot that she has to take three times a week in between chemo because her white blood cells aren't rebuilding the way they should. She explained how painful the shots are to her back and legs.  I am so thankful for my health and the grace that has been given to me on this journey.  I know any day things could change. As she was leaving, I reminded her that I would continue to keep her in my prayers.  

Thank you Tony for being with me even when you have a million other things to do.

Today I got to meet "home girl" (the lady in the back ground that was sleeping in a picture that was taken of me and Jordan at my last chemo).  She wasn't asleep today, so I went over to meet her and explained that she was on my blog and told her we gave her a new name.   She is a great lady and has been through a lot.  Her situation makes me realize how blessed I am again.  She has tongue cancer and can't eat, drink and it hurts for her to talk.  The simple things in life I take for granted everyday.

 Me and Sandy aka "Home Girl"

My blood was drawn on Tuesday and I got my results back on my CA125.  My numbers this week are 172.2.  The number means I have a ways to go with chemo every 21 days.  Thankful to say today I'm at peace with everything.

I was able to speak to 3 different people today and all of them will be on chemo for the rest of their lives. Listening and sharing today helped me to walk away from Highlands with a brighter spirit. Without a doubt God continues to show me a lot of grace and renews my hope I have in Him. I was able to share that Hope and trust that I spoke the words He wanted me to share. Psalms 71:14 "But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more."

The Chemo procedure today was non-eventful and I was through by 1:00.  I was thankful to be able to go in to work afterwards then come home and cook and then attend Kash & Judd's t-ball game. They made it to the finals!

Way to go Kash & Judd!!!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"God Knows...."

I've thought about blogging several times tonight and wasn't sure if I would do it or not. I selfishly wanted to ask for prayer for my round #5 of chemo tomorrow. If I am serious about honoring the Lord in my circumstances then why wouldn't I ask for prayer. My prayer is that all will go well tomorrow and that the side effects will stay away but also that I might be able to be a witness to those the Lord puts in my path. I cannot go on my own strength and fight this battle and let my light shine for Him, I need God's full armor around me. Ephesians 6:13-20 "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. to that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak." Only God knows what tomorrow holds and I am trusting Him completely to direct my steps and to watch over my life.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"Choices"

I received a very special email yesterday from one of my best friends since 4th grade, Judy Lynn. My heart was so blessed by her words of encouragement. I struggled about posting it onto my blog most of the day yesterday and last night. I never want to come across as prideful or believe anything good is in me apart from my Savior. I said from the beginning this blog was for me to look back and remember all God has shown and taught me on this journey. I went to the doctor today and had lab work and was told I am ready for round #5 of Chemo this Thursday. I was also told that I still have another year of monthly chemo treatments at the same dose I am getting right now. Needless to say my heart was a little sad and I had a pity party. I'm not sure why I was taken off guard from the words of the doctor, knowing Who really is control of everything. I went back and re-read the words from Judy and decided it was okay to post what she sent me. I realize everyday is a new day and that I can choose to feel sorry for myself or choose to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust Him for every step that is ahead of me. Thank you Judy for taking the time to write these words to me and for your great encouragement. I love you!!!

Janet Leigh,
I've been reading your blog, again. The latest entry made me think of some things I want to share with you. As your very old, as in many years I've known you, friend I especially know of the blessings and joys that have followed you through your days. However, I believe life is about choices. I sat here and thought about your blessings and the choices that put you in the right path for them. I know you already know these things, but let’s go over some of them again.....ready?

I believe because you chose to be an obedient daughter, most of the time, today you are blessed with children that love and respect you. Your choice to respect your parents did not go unnoticed by our Creator. We may have done some stupid things, but the Good Book says to "honor your father and mother" and this you did. There is a reason for this commandment. The honor you've shown will be handed down through the generations.

I believe you made a choice to marry Charles. The road was a little rocky and sometimes questionable whether he was the "one" for you. Yes, he was. Because your path with him led you to the wonderful, caring husband you have today. Your choice to stay by his side and care for him in sickness did not go unnoticed by our Creator. He is bestowing that same care for you today through Tony.

I believe you made a choice to be a mother. Again, God has blessed you with loving, good hearted, children. Because of your choice to be a mom God blessed you with many, many memories of their laughter, tears, good days and bad. Treasures that can never be taken away from you. You will also have many, many memories of laughter and hugs from grandchildren. Your life is full because of the choice you made.

I believe you made a choice many years ago to keep your body a temple and not damage it with earthly things. For this choice you have been blessed with a healthy body that is seeing you through a difficult time right now. You're not suffering from lung issues from smoking, liver issues from drinking, mind issues from drug abuse. Your body was physically ready to fight the fight it faces today. Because of your choices, you have been blessed.

I believe you made a choice and were destined to work in the ministry in some form or fashion. Because of your choice you have seen a number, a big number, of lives changed forever for the King. You have had numerous opportunities to teach, mentor, and love on kids of all shapes and sizes. Many of whom never knew love before they met you. Because of your choice the Kingdom has been increased!

I believe you made a choice a long time ago to keep friendships alive, through the good and bad. Because of this choice today you have so many friends loving on you, especially when you need it most. This choice again, did not go unnoticed by our Creator. He has given you a host of people that care about you, pray for you, minister to you, and bless you on a daily basis.

We all make choices. Some of yours, like everyone else, have not brought the greatest of outcomes. Some of your choices I'm sure have hurts and wounds attached to them. We can't live this life without a battle scar or two. But because God Almighty was/is first in many of your life choices, you are at the top of the blessing list! I believe on judgment day you will be one of the few to hear those sought after words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

Love you!

Judy Lynne

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Hair Loss Round #2"

I had a dream last night that I had hair again, but I went to pull on it and a lot fell out. I woke up this morning with regular stubble's of gray and dark hair. While taking a shower the dark stubbles began to fall out. It's funny how the gray hair doesn't want to turn loose. I say God is allowing me to keep my "wisdom" by keeping the gray hair on my head.

Our pastor, Bro. Phillip spoke on Proverbs 3:5-6 this morning. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." It was another reminder to me, that this journey is not about me but it is about allowing God to use me to bring glory to Him. I am trying to trust God with all my heart daily, and I know there are days I fall short of that. I may not understand all He has in store for me, but I do know that I am trusting Him. He is the One that directs my path and I am really thankful that I don't have to worry about what tomorrow holds. He already knows how my day will go and what is in store for me, so why worry about tomorrow.

Funny story, while I was sitting here blogging, Jordan and David saw the title of my blog and thought it was funny. Jordan decided to try and see how easy my hair would come out and wow, the hair is coming out again. It doesn't even hurt to pull it out. We convinced David to give it a try. I think we made him feel a little awkward. How many guys can say, "Hey I pulled my girlfriend's mom's hair out." This means chemo is working again and I am another step closer to complete healing!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"4 Months Later"

Four months ago today I went in for a regular gall bladder surgery and my life was greatly changed. I still have my gall bladder and I'm so thankful for how God has orchestrated every step of my life and has been with me this whole time. February 2nd, 2012 seems like forever ago. At times I feel like this chapter of my life has been going on for a long time and wonder will it ever end. There are times it would be easy to have a pity party. There are days I feel like I'm stuck because I haven't been able to travel and go on a vacation with my husband or family. That's when I realize once again this journey is not about me. I have so much to be grateful for. I have a Savior that continues to show me so much grace and strength daily. I've had so many tell me about the sufferings of their friends or loved ones that have been diagnosed with cancer and its difficult to then share about how well everything has gone for me. We never know from day to day what lies ahead for us. I think if I would have known the sufferings that were in store for my life from the beginning of when I was old enough to understand, I probably would have said "no way can I go through those trials, please give me another story to be a part of." We can always find others that are going through difficulties a lot harder than ourselves and wonder how do they make it? All I can say about my own life is that "grace" has been there the whole time. There are days I feel like the most blessed person in the world and I don't feel worthy to say those words. We have a blended family all our kids and grandchildren (that are old enough) are serving the Lord and seeking to honor Him with their lives. How could I ask for anything more? If God didn't give me anything else, He's already given me more than I deserve. I want my kids and grandchildren to know that the God I serve is far bigger than any of our problems, trials, disappointments and sufferings that we could ever face. He's real and alive just as much today as when He created the earth. Some may wonder how I know that, and I can say that in my life He's shown me many miracles already and His creation is all around us. I'm thankful He is bigger than my mind can comprehend. I sit on my screened in porch a lot and listen to the birds singing and wonder does their singing praise our Creator? Does my life praise our Creator? If others see me that don't know me, does my life reflect our Creator? I think I fall short of letting others know Who I belong to and allow pride to get in the way a lot. Everyday is a new journey and I pray that I can show others great love and encouragement since I've been given so much. "To much that has been given, much is required. " Thank you Jesus for this beautiful day I've been blessed with.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."