Yesterday I went for my pre-op at Northwest Hospital in Springdale. Two and half hours later I was done and headed to work. My human side and flesh kicked in and I started missing the idea of getting to go to work. I know it sounds weird, but I really am so grateful for my job and love what I do. I had to fight my emotions and not be a cry baby. Not sure why it was hard to think about having time off, normally I would think it was a great idea. I have been blessed to be able to continue to work and I've said many times, being around others really lifts my spirit. Today was a much better day and I am thankful to have a dear friend, Susan Byrum, take over for me while I'm gone. We visited and went over everything. The month of May is a very busy month for the youth ministry at our church and I have complete peace that she will step right in and do a great job. Thank you Susan for such a sweet spirit of helping out at Studio 412 while I'm gone. You are such a huge blessing to me.
My surgery is on for Monday, April 30th and the time has now changed to 9:30am. I know people are praying for me because I am not fearful and have complete peace in whatever the outcome may be. It will be a big day for me and my family. I had blood drawn yesterday to find out what my cancer marker will be. It's called CA125 and we want that number below 30. When I was first diagnosed, it was at 288. I am praying for Dr. Ivy to have wisdom and also to have rest for him over the weekend so he will be refreshed to do my surgery.
God has continued to be so faithful to me on this journey and constantly shows me His love everyday. I also know that when you put your focus on Him and try to tell others about His grace and love, Satan tries to take away your joy and will do whatever he can to take your eyes off the Lord. These last few days have been a test for me and it has been easy to let "things" creep in and take away your joy. I am thankful to have God's word to keep me focused on what is most important, His love and peace that only He can give. Here is what I read this morning and it was exactly what I needed. Psalms 122:6-9 "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem! May they be secure who love you! Peace be within your walls and security within your towers! For my brothers and companions sake, I will say, Peace be within you! For the sake of the house of the Lord our God, I will seek your good." It would be so easy to take my eyes off the Lord and dwell on selfishness, but He continues to give me the peace that He is in such control and I would be the one losing out if I stayed on my own path for life. I am thankful His word is active and a living source we can cling to in our time of need or weakness.
II Peter 1:3-8 "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
I don't want to be unfruitful for Jesus and I want His name to be glorified in all I do. He is the reason that I have peace and He deserves my very best attitude that I can give to let my light shine for Him.
"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."