"Chemo #6.....But God"

Tomorrow I go in for round #6 of chemo, and today I received a phone call from the Oncologist to let me know my CA125 is down to 83.7. That is a huge praise!! Last chemo I was at 172.2, so my cancer markers went down over half. Each day God continues to give me grace and strength to keep my hope and trust in Him and not in my circumstances. I still believe the faithful prayers of others are what God is hearing and that He is seeing me through each new day that I am blessed with. Tonight Maegan Kufahl brought me the picture below and it was another reminder to me of God's faithfulness.

Thank you Maegan!

Matthew 19:26 "But Jesus looked at them and said, with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." I will never forget the words from Kathy Hedges, an amazing Bible study teacher and dear friend. When someone uses the word "but" in a sentence, it always erases the words said before it. I think the "but God" reminds me Who is in control of everyday of my life and I choose to cling to Him.

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Celebrations!"

Today was a day for celebrating. We took Bryan to "On the Border" for his birthday and missed having Jenna with us. I know her heart was with us.

Bryan, Hudson, Tony, Me and Jordan (We missed you Jenna)

Hudson is already like his daddy, always wanting to look at the I-phone!

Hudson was helping Daddy blow out the candles, and yes the lady at Wal-mart spelled Bryan's name wrong.

Hudson has been super sweet and we have loved having him with us. I know his mommy is missing him while she is on a mission trip in Mexico. He will be so happy to see her again. We all love and miss you Jenna!

I went in for lab work and to see the doctor today. Dr. Waller was very pleased with all my blood work numbers. She said I picked a hard way out of getting my chemo postponed for two weeks by being in the hospital. I am scheduled for round #6 this Thursday. They will call me tomorrow with my cancer markers (CA125). I asked her why my markers went up so much since surgery. The day of my surgery I was at 46 which originally I started at 288. Since my surgery, my numbers were 202, then dropped to 172. She was very positive and explained that my numbers are good compared to what she usually sees. A lot of times her patience are way up in the 1,000 and she didn't want to make light of my numbers but said it was good to see them coming down and not going up. If my numbers are good tomorrow, after this next round of chemo, I will go on the maintenance program which will be once a month and only receive one of the chemo drugs, Taxol. I went back and read what Dr. Ivy said to me and my family the first time we met to discuss my treatment plan and I'm reminded once again how Awesome our God is. Below is what Jenna blogged on that day:

The biggest blessing is one of the last things that the doctor said to us...
That there is "no reason to not expect a complete response".
She is fighting, and she has a BIG God fighting on her side. We know that the battle is just beginning but we also know who has already won.


I am so thankful to have God's constant reminders of His great love for me. I know this journey is not complete but what a blessing to look back over these past 5 months and see how God has already carried me and my family. The peace and strength He has given me has been amazing and I will continue to say, it's called "Grace".
I'm not sure what tomorrow holds with finding out my CA125 number, but I can say;

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"Bryan Jeffrey Charles Buettemeyer"

27 years ago today I became a mom and my life has never been the same. Growing up my dream was always to be married and be a mom and I really never had the desire to have a profession outside of that calling for my life. God blessed me and Bryan's dad with a 6lb 10oz baby boy on July 10th, 1985. I never had an ultrasound so we weren't sure if he was a boy or girl, but inside we both were hoping for a little boy. I arrived at the hospital at 6:ooam and he was born at 8:45am. Each accomplishment Bryan made always made me excited for the next one and before I knew it, he grew up right before my very eyes. I've always appreciated getting older and the blessing of watching my kids grow up. When Bryan was 8 years old, his dad died from AIDS. I know God's hand was over me and protected me from that disease because there is no explanation of why I was spared from it other than God's Amazing Grace. At the age of 8, Bryan took on a lot from losing his dad. I know he misses him and would love for his dad to see what an amazing husband and dad he has become. Bryan has always been close to me and Jordan and our family has been blessed with an amazing young man. I'm not sure I've gone a day without talking to Bryan, even when he left for college. People have joked at times that Bryan is a "momma's boy" but I can truly say, I am one proud momma!!! I love you Bryan and couldn't be more proud to have a son like you and you are an incredible husband and dad for Jenna and Hudson. May you always allow God to direct your path and keep your eyes on Him and know He will never fail you. Below is a poem Bryan's dad wrote to him the year he died:

In Recognition of: Bryan
Dancing to the rhythm of life, Your thoughts as pure as a mountain stream.
How much more innocence must we see, than to look into your twinkling eyes. You, who have taken loving kindness on your own and given it to us so generously, and sometimes forcefully because we don't know how to receive it. It is also you that helps us see our own misgivings through your peaceful acceptance of our faults. You hide your pain even when ours is placed upon your shoulders, and yet you are just a child. What wondrous feats you will achieve, even if short of this world's knowledge, for you posses a heart of a gold and sliver that rains down on every life you touch, a heart that is filled by God's own hand. And Bryan, forgive me where I failed you as a father of first born, my love for you will stretch beyond this universe and life itself, not because of my strength, but because of your young accomplishment to bond our hearts together for eternity.
I love you Bryan, Your Father 4-'93

Bryan loved his baby sister Jordan
Jordan and Bryan

Thankful for his love.
What a cutie!

Riding a bike at age 3.
Always loved this picture!

Loved his potty time.
His favorite book "King Kangaroo"
My soccer boy!

Love him!

All grown up now and has an amazing family. I am thankful for the time we have to share together as a family. Happy Birthday Bryan!!!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"MawMaw & Grandad"

My parents came for a visit a few weeks ago and I wanted to post a few pictures from the weekend. My professional photographer, aka Bryan, had to be reminded to send me the pictures. :) I was so blessed to have them here for a visit and cherished our time together.

Hudson, Bryan, MawMaw, Grandad, Me and Jordan

My dad, mom, me and Hudson at the Farmer's Market.
Daddy, Mother and Me

Jordan, MawMaw & Bryan
Jordan, my mom and Me
4 generations=Hudson, Bryan, MawMaw and Me

MawMaw & David (I think he met my parents approval)

God has been so good to our family and I am so thankful for our time and memories we share together. I wish we lived closer together but I am thankful for the technology today that keeps us close in spirit and heart. I love you lots Mother and Daddy. Thank you for being amazing parents and grandparents/great-grandparents!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"Blessings Of Today"

My day started with a text from my dear friend Judy Lynn. She had read my blog about struggling with being discontent and sent me the following text:

So Satan is attacking you is he? Well, Praise the Lord! For whatever reason right now God has given you another assignment besides summer camp, etc. Is that assignment time with your husband, time with Hudson, a stranger who needs the love of the Lord, folks sharing chemo, or just showing the world how God's people fight cancer???? Who knows, but you must be doing something right because it's got the devil all stirred and fired up against you! From the past he is using what he knows you enjoy (camp) to tear down the excitement and amazement of what God is doing in the present. He is a powerful enemy, but we know the Victor! A quote I like: when Satan knocks at your door, simply say "Jesus, could you get that!". I love you my friend and pray you have a blessed day!

I can say my day continued to follow with blessings of His great love.
Tony and I shaved each others heads. Now that is true love when you can be happy shaving your spouses head. I love Tony so much and his continued support and faithfulness to me. I had sprigs of "white" hair sticking up on top and thought the cleaner shaved head looks better.
So in love with this man!

Rubbing our heads together for good luck!

Laurie Smith and I went and saw Madeas Witness Protection and loved it. The Cripple & Chemo Duo!

Tony went out to War Eagle to play at a youth camp, so I hung out with my other favorite people at On the Border.

Bryan, Hudson and me (Jenna is gone to Mexico)

David and Jordan

My day was full of blessings and on top of all the blessings, God sent us some rain. Psalms 40:16 "But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, "Great is the Lord!"

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"Struggling With Being Content"

Philippians 4:11 "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." It's hard to admit, but I have struggled with being content this week. My heart has wanted to be at camp all week with the youth and I have even tried a few times to figure out a way to get there. Every summer I struggle leaving Tony at home while I go off on our youth trips and now that I have an opportunity to spend time with him during the summer, I'm struggling with being content. It has nothing to do with Tony. I love him so much and I am so grateful for his love for me and that he cherishes me. He gave me permission to go to camp as long as I could find someone to go with me. I had asked a few people and nothing worked out, so I decided it wasn't meant for me to be there. Then here comes the word "but"..... I want to be there so badly and I feel Satan has attacked my thoughts this week and had me to doubt the decision of staying home.

I was given a massage gift card and thought it would be nice to treat myself this week. One thing I never thought about, you need your doctor's permission to have a massage when going through chemo. I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't mentioned to the lady making my appointment that I needed someone to give me a massage that wouldn't be afraid of a lady that was bald. That's when I discovered that massages and chemo are not always the best thing together. I will have to wait until Tuesday's blood work and ask the doctor if it is okay to go ahead and have the massage.

Back to the verse for me today, I need to learn to be content in whatever situation I am in. Humanly speaking, sometimes that is so hard to do. I feel like a lot of my time has been wasted this week thinking about the things I couldn't do verses the things I am so blessed to do. Satan will use any kind of tactic to keep our focus on ourselves and to have pity parties. The God I serve is far more greater and wants the best for my life. To have true joy in my heart even when I don't get my way. I am thankful for His great love and faithfulness to me even when I want to choose to be unfaithful to Him.

I clicked over to Facebook while writing this blog and found a quote from a friend, Cari Trotter, quoting Christy Nockels saying "In my ordinary, mundane days I choose to invite the Glorious. He's an extraordinary God and I can choose to praise Him in this moment of my life."
I am thankful He gave me these words today and I don't want to miss out on God's best for my life. Even when life doesn't seem exciting and fulfilling, God can still show up and use us. If you want to hear the song that came from these words Christy Nockels wrote, highlight, right click and open the link in a new tab.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN2zaMO8OK4

"Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

"Epic Camp"

After 1 1/2 hours of checking in and going over last minute information with parents, our 156 students and 35 adults pulled out of the church parking lot and headed for camp. Back in my day as a camper, we took old school buses that had been turned into church buses with no air conditioning. As you can see from the pictures below, our students are a little spoiled. It took 3 charter buses and 3 SUV's to get everyone to camp. They have arrived safely and I'm sure everyone is exhausted. It is always a lot of work getting settled in on the first day, but after tonight's RAVE, they will all be ready to go for the week. I am sad that I was not part of this trip and was reminded that God has a purpose for me not going. He is the One that directs our steps and we are the ones that can choose to be obedient or not. It sure is hard being obedient at times. Deuteronomy 13:4 "You shall walk after the Lord your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him." I am trusting Him for this season of my life and thankful for the fact that I'm alive and healthy. There is no reason to be all doom and gloom when He has shown me so much grace and knowing that I have today and no promises for my tomorrow.




Traveling in "style"

Hudson came over tonight to hang out while his parent's went to bible study.
Hudson with G-Pa's glasses

We had our first watermelon for the summer that was given to us by David Street's parents. G-Pa, Hudson and I all enjoyed the sweetness of the melon.

You might be a red-neck if you eat watermelon in your lap with an apron on!

"Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."